Some days I just can’t take it anymore.

Some days I know absolutely that I will die before even a semblance of the patriarchy has disappeared.

I am grieving for all the female bodied people in the world. My body feels the turmoil. … my heart conflicted… my brain awash in nuanced innuendoes that stab like a sharp knife and then twists.

Some of you have read what I have written about “The Barbie Movie”. Some of you have gone to see it though you never planned to go to a “movie about a doll”.

It’s not about a doll….. it’s about the culture we live in because there is no place where the culture doesn’t permeate the fabric of every single life….. no matter your sex, your gender, your age or where you live.

These are some subtle ways the patriarchy sneaks up on me and bites me on the ass. Sometimes it’s a look of exasperation, a facial expression of disdain, a tone of authority, some of it is just unskilled blaming communication skills… and sometimes it is a normal but aggravated attempt for understanding.

But…

Mostly these comments seem like “ordinary” ways of speaking— and they are….

But … that does not mean they are okay.

They are unrecognized put downs, innuendos that intend a “you are wrong and I am right” outcome.

Here are a few examples:

“I could have said that with fewer words.”

“Speak up”

“You should smile more.”

“You took up more space than your male partner.”

“That feeds your ego.”

“You’re being emotional…”

“You interrupted me”.

“Here, let me explain…”

“I’m not finished talking.”

“It’s actually much more complex than that.”

Those are all I am going to write now….

Please —— reply with the latest time some one took your voice away.

Share it.

Here.

By illustrating these phrases perhaps those speaking them will see themselves.

They are subtle… very subtle.

A person in a male body cannot ever know what this feels like in a female body.

I can hear those of you male bodied folks that were bullied or neglected and all that IS shit too… but is not what I’m talking about. You get to stand up and still walk around in the world feeling generally safe and respected. (see Ken on Venus Beach)

Female bodied folks hear an insult, are assaulted, put down and then still walk in the world still objectified, ignored, scared, criticized for everything from their body shape or size, the sound of their voice, their ideas and thoughts, the wrinkles on their face…. their audacity to have an opposite opinion, their age and so much more.

Why is it the disrespected have to teach the disrespectful to be respectful?

I am tired of the struggle but I refuse to decide to ignore the immense impact this phenomenon is making every day in a thousand ways on all ages of women and all our young people.

Every one actually.

I almost wish you could hear the screaming inside my head…. You would run.

Some days I want to run.

Even while seeing a serene view…. I still hear the screaming.

There is no place to run.